"But My Friend Gets More Pocket Money Than Me!" How to Handle the Comparison Trap

It's only a matter of time.

"Mia gets ten dollars a week and I only get five. It's not fair."

And suddenly what felt like a simple, thoughtful decision becomes a negotiation.

This is one of the most common pocket money moments parents face, and one of the most loaded.

Because behind the comparison is often a real question: Am I getting what I deserve? Do my parents value what I contribute?

Rather than dismissing the comment or giving in to avoid the argument, this is actually a golden opportunity.

An honest, calm response might sound like:

'Different families make different choices about pocket money, just like they make different choices about lots of things. In our family, here's how we think about it…'

Then be clear about what the amount is based on e.g. their age, their responsibilities, what it's meant to cover. Not a defence. Just an explanation.

Children can handle honesty. What they struggle with is silence or dismissal.

This moment also opens up a wider conversation:

Does your child want more? Are there ways they could earn a little extra?

Is there a responsibility they could take on that would make an increase feel earned and meaningful?

As we explored in a previous blog - Should Pocket Money Be Tied to Chores? - there are many ways to structure pocket money that create natural opportunities for growth.

The comparison trap doesn't have to be a conflict.

With the right response, it becomes a conversation about values, which is exactly where financial learning happens.

The short course “Pocket Money That Actually Works” gives you the words, frameworks and confidence to handle every tricky money moment, including this one.

👉 Join “Pocket Money That Actually Works” Course and handle every conversation with confidence.